Dog Days of August
by Eve-the-Charlotte
Summary: A series of drabbles that are fanon and/or crack. If you are a fan of either or both, read on.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Total Drama Island, Action, The Musical, and whatever comes after those.

Hi there, my wonderful readers! This is a little short series that I'm writing because I just had a tooth pulled and my jaw really hurts, so I'm trying to get my mind off of it with fanfiction. None of the pairings in this series are canon and some may border on or are crack, depending on your point of view. So, without further ado, welcome to _Total Drama Fanon_! Hope you enjoy!


	2. Snowy Days in Antarctica

_Snowy Days in Antarctica _by _Eve-the-Charlotte_

Disclaimer: I don't own TDI, TDA, TDtM, or anything like that.

Prompt: Snow

Pairing: Ezekiel/Izzy

Antarctica. A cold barren wasteland almost completely devoid of life. No creatures dare to live here, except legally insane scientists. And penguins. But none of the above has anything to do with this story except that Antarctica is cold. And what does that have to do with the story, or anything else for that matter? Guess, my dear reader, guess! Seriously, guess and, if you get it right, I'll give you a cookie and-

"Izzy, what're yoo dooin', eh?"

"I'm narrating our adventure to Antarctica, my Zeke! When we're there, we'll fight off crazy scientists and create a utopia with the penguins. And I'll be the queen and you'll be the king, my dear Zeke!"

The dark-haired man simply listened as his newly-wedded wife went on about a penguin utopia in Antarctica that they would rule over. His parents would probably not be taken by Izzy's unique charm as he had, but he hoped they would at least try to act civil around her. That probably wouldn't happen, but Ezekiel was an optimist, and he and now Izzy were Mxyzptlks. And a Mxyzptlk always had luck on their side.

Yeah for Izzeke (my name for Ezekiel/Izzy)! Yeah, and does any get the joke with the last name?

Read and review!

Number of words according to Microsoft Word 2007: 240


	3. Pillars of Sand

_Pillars of Sand _by _Eve-the-Charlotte_

Disclaimer: I own nothing that has anything to do with these characters and this show, except the stories I write about them.

Prompt: _Vida la Vida _by Coldplay and a Bible verse.

Pairing: Past Harold/Bridgette. Present Geoff/Bridgette. Mentions other pairings, too.

Harold stared ahead as she kissed her groom, thereby completing the Western marriage ceremony and making said marriage official. He remembered when there was talk of him being at the alter with her. He hung his head at the thought which caused him such anguish and shame. He still didn't know what he did wrong. Everything was so perfect in the beginning.

'_Everything seems perfect in the beginning, stupid,' _the voice in the back of his mind replied, who sounded like a cross between a mad Heather and Bridgette towards the end.

"Shut up," he said to himself, which fortunately went unheard to the others. He scanned the room he was in. He caught sight of Ezekiel and Izzy, doing the grind to the song that was on, which sounded suspiciously like scream-o music. Ezekiel looked like he was about to faint, that guy was blushing so hard.

'_That redneck bastard's probably in heaven. He's been panting after that mentally defunct bitch for so long, he's probably be her little dog right now. Sit, boy! Fetch, boy! Roll over, boy,' _the voice said, snapping Harold's concentration on the couple.

'_Hey, that's not cool, dude!'_

'_But you know it's true.'_

Harold did not reply, instead focusing his eyes on Chris MacLene, who was currently giving his wife of three years some champagne. No one could believe it at first when Chris admitted it was he who was the father of Lindsay's baby. Yet, somehow, they worked together, the ditzy blonde who only saw the good in people and the sadist who expected only the worst. Plus, their daughter was adorable.

'_But don't forget that he's still nine years older than her, knocked her up when she was seventeen, and only confessed to it because he was afraid the child would look so much like him that it would be very, very obvious who the father really was. Plus, he still wanted to fuck her, and, who wouldn't, she's still hot as hell-'_

"I said to shut up," he spoke to himself, a little louder than the first time, which caused Cody to turn and stare at him. Harold glared at him, causing Cody to back away slowly, then turn and high-tail it back to the table from whence he came. Noah, noticing Cody panicked look, immediately pulled the boy onto his lap and began to whisper into his ear. The brownette boy began to relax. Noah then turned and glared at him. Of all the people on the Total Drama series, Noah was probably one of the ones that had changed the most. He was still the same to everyone else, but began fiercely protect and, later, love Cody. One look from the skinny nerd was all it took to turn the East Indian boy with a heart of stone and the emotions of a Vulcan to a sweet and caring human being.

'_They make me sick, those goddamn faggots!'_

"Don't call them that," he shouted, just as the music cut off. Everyone turned and stared at the usually composed, self-proclaimed ninja. Harold stared back at them, eyes wide, breathing hard.

"Are you all right, Harold," the bride asked, somewhat nervous at his obvious display of anger.

"I'm fine as I can be," he replied, "considering your relationship with _him_," he pointed at the groom, "is built on pillars of sand. You'll never," he paused to swill down his fifth glass of champagne, "be able to replace me, you two-timing whore!"

The crowd in the room was dead silent as they watched to see how Bridgette would respond. Shockingly to most everyone in the room, save herself, Harold, and possibly one guest, she replied back just as viciously, "At least I found a replacement, something your self-absorbed ass can't do. Geoff's much richer than you, and pays me much more attention. Besides," she said, allowing herself a smirk, "at least he'll put out before the wedding."

The entirety of the wedding party was numb. About half of them supported Bridgette after the break-up and avoided Harold since then, never hearing what he had to say. And why would they, they had thought, nice, sweet Bridgette wouldn't hurt a fly, so Harold must have been just horrible to her. This turn of events threw them all for a loop, Geoff most of all. This was so not cool.

Finally, the silence after Bridgette's little speech was broken by the sound of clapping. Everyone turned to see the one person who was not invited to the wedding, Heather, leaning against the door frame, smirking and clapping. "Looks like I found the sand in the relationship," she said, her smirk turning into a full-blown smile.

"Really, Bridge," she continued, "I never knew you had it in you. Manipulating some poor sap's emotions so that he'd give you a car, a house, and a big ol' ring, then dumping him for the rich party boy who was so out there he wouldn't notice you cheating on him 'most every night. After that, all you had to do was get the party boy to marry you without a pre-nup, which wasn't that hard, considering who it was, and then divorcing him so you'd get half of that big fortune he inherited. Really," Heather said, checking her nails and sipping Beth's glass of champagne, which lay untouched due to Heather's surprising speech, "I'm impressed. I just came to take my boyfriend," she pointed to Harold, "home before he got slobbering drunk, but then I heard your little comment. So, I decided to tell everyone about your plan, you know, just in case they were curious."

Heather held out her hand to Harold, who took it to steady himself a bit, before standing up straight and tall. "See you later, Geoff , Bridgette," Heather said, waving as she and Harold went out the door, "have a nice life!"

This did not turn out like I planned it. Seriously, I was planning something kinda short and kinda angst-y, but it turned into this. I really do like Bridgette, but she just turned out to be a total bitch in this one. Had a lot more dialogue than I expected, too. Oh well, read and review.

Word count according to Microsoft Word 2007: 1,090.


	4. It's Me Again, Courtney

_It's Me Again, Courtney _by _Eve-the-Charlotte_

Disclaimer: I don't own the Total Drama Series. Period.

I have been listening to a lot of Ray Stevens lately, so the next few drabbles will involve several of his songs. If you don't like it, skip over the ones with titles similar to songs of his. Also, this takes place in the future, say, twenty years from now? Anyways, this means that the TDI characters have reproduced during that time.

Pairing: Main-Trent/Courtney; Mentions Geoff/Gwen and others.

"Daddy, what was your weirdest case," a petite blonde asked, staring up from her crossword puzzle. The equally blonde man, whom she was addressing, simply stared at her in confusion.

"What case?"

The girl sighed, her father was not the most brightest crayon in the box, if you got the drift. She rubbed small circles on her temples and said, "I meant the weirdest police case you have ever had to deal with."

"Oh, that, well, there was that case with Trent Dion and Courtney St. Catherine-"

"Mr. and Mrs. Dion?"

"Yeah, they were the weirdest case that I've ever handled."

"What about DJ, Heather, and the rabbits?"

"Okay, that was weird too, Stace, but this one was even crazier."

"How so?"

"Well," the man said, taking a deep breath, then forgetting to release it until he turned slightly blue, thereby forcing him to breathe again, "it started when we got a call from Courtney at about midnight one cold Tuesday night. . . ."

_Geoff Harris was sitting in the not-so-comfy chair in his office, while his normal seat was being taken by his partner, LeShawna Kraft, formerly Wilson. He would have resented this, but she __**was **__six months pregnant and he really wasn't that cruel. They were engaged in a game of solitaire, with real cards, since the office's computer was down and they were both too lazy to fix it. So, anyway, around midnight, Geoff was in the middle of trying to get LeShawna to go home and get some rest, which was a rather futile effort, when the land phone rang. Loudly. Very, very loudly. So loudly that Geoff freaked out and tripped over the phone's cord and landed on the floor, flat on his back. LeShawna would have laughed at his clumsy ass but she decided to remain professional and answered the phone in a calm, but firm voice, "This is Officer Kraft of the Toronto Police Department, what is the nature of your emergency?"_

"_Officer, I've been receiving these phone calls from an anonymous caller that were rather lewd and I'm concerned that whoever is calling is also stalking me," came the voice on the other side of the line._

_LeShawna nearly fainted from shock with who was calling because, seriously, she hadn't heard from Courtney in years and, all of a sudden, she calls her. Granted, she was working, but seriously, who would've thought? Snapping out of that train of thought, she quickly asked questions and wrote down the responses, that would possibly lead to the pervert. Apparently, Courtney had been receiving these amorous phone calls for the past three months, but did not report them. This night's phone call had pushed Courtney to report the incidents. The last phone call had the creep saying that they could have some fun with a weedwacker, a live chicken, and Cool Whip. LeShawna was really scarred from the mental images that the mere idea produced, so she was definitely going to solve this case on the double. She kicked Geoff in the side, drawing out a pained groan. Good, he was still alive, she needed him to be so he could help._

"_Get yo ass up, Party Boy, we got a case to solve," the large, still bootylicious woman barked at the tall, man of obvious Scandinavian blood. The blonde immediately stood up, even though the room was still spinning. He knew if he didn't, he'd die from the wrath of the great LeShawna. _

_The above led to a stakeout at the house of Courtney St. Catherine the next night. This irked Geoff, whose wife was soon to come home from her tour of duty in Korea and he would have preferred to sleep so he could greet her with his normal grin instead of a coffee-induced one. Unfortunately, LeShawna Kraft had insisted he be the one to listen in on Ms. St. Catherine's midnight conversations instead of her, so she could get a decent night's sleep, which she claimed that she hadn't gotten in ages. Geoff grumbled a bit about LeShawna not needing a night off before, but the combined glare from LeShawna and her hubby Duncan, who had come to pick her up, forced him to stop whining and just do the damn job. He told himself that, if he just did his job, it would go so much quicker than if he didn't. So he tapped the phone line to catch the conversation. This is what he heard, what he would remember until his dying day:_

"_(evil chuckling) It's me again, Courtney (more evil-sounding chuckling) Hello, is this Courtney? (chuckling has evolved into outright laughter) Courtney, I know it's yooooouuuuu, Courtney. Are you naked? (more evil laughter) Want to hear me bark like Rin-Tin-Tin?"_

_That very night, he called the phone company and asked to trace the call back to its origin. It lead him, Eva, LeShawna, who had punched back in to see this, and Harold to a funky old telephone booth on the outskirts of town. They stared in shock and the caller was Trent! Who would've thought? They, of course, brought him in. Eva read him his rights, while Harold told him that he could make a call before they hauled him in. Trent dialed the phone, cleared his throat, and spoke softly into it,_

"_It's me again, Courtney. (soft, evil chuckling)They got me, Courtney. You ain't going to miss me, Courtney. (evil laughter) I know that, but I'll miss you! (more evil laughter) And when I get out Courtney, I'm going to come over there with an egg beater, and a live chicken, and some peach preserves! We'll have a good ol' time, Courtney!"_

_Obviously, they pulled him off the phone and threw him into a jail cell. But Geoff would never forget what happened sometime later, even if he got amnesia and died at the same time._

"_Hello, I would like to post bail for Trent Dion."_

_Geoff stared in shock as he saw Courtney dig through her purse, which had peach preserves, an egg beater, and something that sounded a lot like a live chicken in it. She fished out her wallet and opened it. "How much is the bail?"_

"_Three hundred and fifty dollars," Geoff managed to stutter, in total shock of the situation._

"_And how much for those handcuffs," she asked, grinning wider than the Cheshire Cat._

_At this announcement, Geoff fainted._

"And that's what happened, every word true," Geoff proclaimed.

There was a tiny sound that escaped Stacey Harris's lips and then a thud as she hit the ground.

I thought this one was pretty funny. It took me forever to write because my eyes keep watering from staring at the computer screen as I type. Stupid cold!

Read and review!


	5. Pride and Prejudice and Zombies

_Pride and Prejudice. . . . and Zombies _by _Eve-the-Charlotte_

Disclaimer: I don't own this show. End of discussion.

Prompt: Pride and Prejudice and Zombies by Jane Austen and Seth Grahame-Smith and a fun meme on

Pairing: Noah/Cody; mentions Ezekiel/Izzy.

Warning: Contains slash viewed from a heterosexual girl's perspective. And this story is also my first guy slash story. You have been warned.

"_Now I know how far you'd go_

_To be the next freak show_

_American psycho!_" Izzy sang loudly as she was swinging on her vine. She loved the day off she got. She couldn't believe it when Satan, er, Chris, cancelled today's challenge. Unbelievable. So, everyone had decided to relax for the day when MacLene left them to their own devices after receiving a phone call for the board of TV people. Izzy hoped they did something horrible to him for all the campers were put through. If they didn't, Izzy would! Yes, Izzy would make Chris Satan MacLene pay for all he did to Izzy and the others, especially poor Ezekiel. She felt bad when Zeke was kicked off first, so she had taken to calling him every day. Izzy knew what it was like to be kicked off first. Her train of thought was derailed as she saw Cody reading. A book. That was probably longer than a hundred pages. This sight distracted Izzy so much that she slammed right into a tree.

Cody looked up from _Pride and Prejudice and Zombies_, which was hopefully something like the original book, as he heard a loud _thwump_ right above him. He saw that crazy chick, Izzy, or something, sliding down from where she had smacked right into the big pine tree he was sitting under. He quickly moved away from the tree as gravity forced Izzy to land none too softly on the ground where he was just sitting. He moved closer to see if she was alive. He was just inches away from her face, crouching over her body, when she suddenly jerked her head up and bit his nose.

"Jesus Christ, Izzy," Cody shouted as he immediately backed away and covered his nose, which now a bright shade of red. There he was, trying to help her, and what does he get? A nose that could be freaking bruised! And how was he supposed to get Noah with a swollen red nose on top of his already present flaws! Cody saw as Izzy blinked at him, stood up, and said, "But Noah likes you anyway," like it was common knowledge. Cody then realized that he had just said what he'd been thinking out loud.

"Oh shit," he said, out of reflex as the entire situation dawned upon him. He had just told Izzy, who was the least likely person to be able to keep a secret, the biggest revelation of his miserable life, and she would probably end up telling everyone, including Noah, who she'd most definitely share with first. Izzy's continued staring at him, frowning slightly and seemingly assessing him critically, made him think that he had spoken his thoughts aloud again, which he tended to do when he was nervous and freaked out and stuff.

He watched as Izzy suddenly jumped up and walked away. Cody began to pray that she'd understand his predicament and never, ever tell another living soul what she had heard. It would ruin him if she did.

Izzy got up and walked away, now knowing what she needed to know. He loved Noah. She would never tell the bookworm, despite what Cody thought, though she would give them a good shove in the right direction. She couldn't be happy, not without her Zeke, who would never go for a girl like her, so she would make sure they would be happy together. Even if it killed her.

Okay, one question, why does whenever I write something, it never turns out how I plan it to turn out? One of the great mysteries of life. Read and review.


	6. The Oreo Philosophy

_The Oreo Philosophy _by _Eve-the-Charlotte_

Disclaimer: I don't own the Total Drama series. So there.

Pairings: Geoff/Gwen.

This fun little drabble might help me actually finish the Total Drama Island stuff that's sitting on my computer. Cross your fingers!

Guinevere "Gwen" Scotts yawned as she watched her roommate, Geoff, pace around the room, muttering something about Democrats and oreos. Quite frankly, she was getting tired just watching him. He'd been like this since the night before, when, after helping her finish the rest of the oreos that she bought, he had shouted "Eureka!" very loudly and had begun to pace and think and mutter to himself. Not a very healthy thing for him to do, in Gwen's opinion.

Geoff suddenly halted his psychotic pacing and turned to where she was sitting. She stared at him as he took three long, military-like strides to where she was and stopped right in front of her. "I have had an epiphany, a vision, a bout of clairvoyance," he announced, shocking Gwen into silence with his use of an expanded vocabulary.

"I suddenly know how the world works," he shouted, suddenly grabbing Gwen and shaking her a bit, "It's like a freaking oreo, Gwen!"

It had been good while it had lasted Gwen surmised as she processed what he had just said. But he wasn't finished yet.

"Seriously, there are really conservative, gun-toting, homophobic Puritans," small pause, "and there are hippie, eco-wacko, liberal Democracts. They're the chocolate cookie parts, because they're both really radical and get the same results, pretty much every time they do anything, which is either people dying or getting poorer."

Gwen stared at Geoff. He had managed to come up with a serious, non-stupid metaphorical statement that made a lot of sense and had to do with the world today. Plus, he sounded hotter when he talked like he had an iota of intelligence. Not that he wasn't already attractive and all, but he was a friend, a good friend, who let her stay in his apartment while she went to grad school. She tuned into Geoff's rant to hear him say, "Yeah, and we're like the creamy white vanilla-y stuff in the middle, ya know, man, not really totally either cookie, but something in between. Plus, without us, the cookie parts would fall apart because nothing would be there to hold them together."

Gwen was shell-shocked by this intelligent astute declare that she said the only thing she could think of to say, "I love you, Geoff."

"I love you, too, Gwen, but I'm really in the middle of this eureka moment and-"

She then walked up to him, put her hands on his chest, and kissed him.

Geoff couldn't help but respond. Who knew that his eureka moment could help him in more than one area of his life?

Yeah, I believe the ending sucked, but I have a bit of writer's block, I think. Read and review, please.


	7. Love, Billy

_Swapped _by _Eve-the-Charlotte_

Pairings: Billy/Katie, then Billy/Sadie

Just FYI, Billy is the name of the ash blonde guy intern on TDA. I'm not sure if this is his real name or, if it's not, if it's been announced, so that's what I call him. Also, I'm fairly sucky at poetry, but this is actually one of my best yet, so I'm posting it. Enjoy.

She was beautiful. She was lovely. She was everything To me.

But something was Changing. Something in me was Rearranging.

My attention was no longer Drawn to her. But to the shadow Standing behind her.

This shadow was As timid as a doe. But was as beautiful As freshly fallen snow.

The first time she Talked to me, It was as if the shackles were broken, and I was now free.

The secret feelings that Coursed through me Weren't secret for long Not from her, Not from Katie.

A vase shatters And she screams. It seems as the anger that Katie held for me Was bursting at the seams.

But I don't care Not anymore. I don't Because, if I did, I would Have to give up Sadie, Which I won't.

As I write this letter in The intensive care, I wish to say, For you, Sadie, for you I would dare to Stand up to my Demons, And you would be my Reason.

As I write this I think of You and our Love.

I love you, Sadie, Forever and for always, Your Billy.

Okay, I think that was pretty sweet, don't you? Anyways, I now have to retype all my stuff onto my old computer because my new one has something funky with it that doesn't like, so they won't allow me to upload my junk. So, expect more to come, because I seriously wrote more stuff than this!


	8. Longevity

_Longevity+ _by _Eve-the-Charlotte_

Pairings: Chris/Lindsay.

This is inspired by a book called _The Declaration_ by Gemma Malley. It has to do with youth obsession and genetics and ethics and such. It's very good, I do recommend it.

Lindsay MacLene stared out of her window, only barely seeing her reflection staring right back at her. It was a good thing, Lindsay supposed, since she would prefer not to see herself right now, seeing what she had become. She had stopped taking the drugs, simple as that. Or maybe not so simple, come to think of it. She could already feel herself age, though there was no noticeable difference. And there wouldn't be any noticeable difference, not for several years at least.

Part of her knew why she stopped taking Longevity+. Part of her didn't know. It was all so confusing! Maybe if she did her Brain Agility challenges more often, this sort of thing would happen less. She remembered first hearing of the drug. A scientist named Harold McGrady had discovered the actual Fountain of Youth. Not only that, it also stopped disease. It immediately killed off all of the bad bacteria and viruses. Everyone was ecstatic, thrilled witless. A way to stop nature's cruelty permanently. It was a dream come true. She got it first, of course. She was a world-renowned actress and her husband was as well, making them at the top of the list for Longevity+. Everyone took it. Hell, poorer countries terrorized the bigger ones until the officials made Longevity+ cheaper to buy. So the world was happy. At first.

Her husband, Chris, was the first to spot the problem, and others followed his lead. The problem being: What about the population? Everyone kept right on having children, but no one was dying anymore, so the population kept growing at an exponential rate. Soon, there were housing shortages and food shortages because there were simply too many people. So, to get your longevity drugs you had to sign a contract that contained two very important clauses within it. The first stated that you could only keep one child, as the rest were sent to government training camps. That clause was not a problem for Lindsay, seeing as she and Chris only had one child, all of their other children either miscarried or died young. The second clause, however, made her pause before signing the contract. It stated that you could have no other children, or you could not take Longevity+. It was then that Chris quit. But Lindsay didn't. Love was, by then, a corrupted thing, corrupted by staleness of immortality and the sickness of society's wants. He died after a few decades. Lindsay, looking as young as ever, said the eulogy. She wished, at that moment, that she had stopped taking the drugs. It was a bitter blow that left her broken in front of her beloved husband's grave.

After that, she stopped going out to parties, out drinking and taking drugs that made her head spin and made her scream in ecstasy. She no longer deserved ecstasy and she knew it. This continued until now, now that she stopped taking Longevity+. Lindsay MacLene was ready to die. It wasn't natural, wasn't right, to keep living long after your expiration date had passed. She feared killing herself, so she would just try to right her wrongs by simply letting nature have her way. It was about damn time she did it, too.

That did not turn out like I planned it to. Seriously, I planned on Chris living and I end up killing the poor sap! Whatever.

Read and review.


	9. Nirvana

_Nirvana _by _Eve-the-Charlotte _

Pairings: Unrequited Brady/Bridgette.

Dedicated to whoever has ever felt this way, so you know you aren't alone.

Ever had one of those days when you wake and know something is seriously, _screamingly _wrong with the world. Bridgette has been having those days for quite a while now. She now knows that everything is sick and wrong and nothing will ever be right again because no one actually gives a damn about those around them and she just can't take it. Not anymore.

All people care about are sex and drugs and looking like perfect angels when it's really a façade and they're actually demons, wolves in sheep's clothing. And the ones who actually care are martyred in a way that doesn't really rail against everyone else with their hearts of stone. It only affects the other martyrs who are slowly dying too, against society's greedily glowing pyre of hate and lust and rage and hedonism. She can see them slowly drowning in their own filth, their own desires, but they don't see it until the defecation is covering their mouths, so they can't screams, their noses, so they can't breathe, and their eyes, so they can no longer again feel the purity of the light of day that they for so long took for granted. When they scream for help, for mercy, all that will do is let the filth into their throats again, choking them.

But that won't happen for some time, all far as she can tell. But she also can't take it, not anymore. So, instead she will let the booze and pills take her away. Unlike the wolves, she will never come down again, which was her greatest comfort. Because who really wants to live in death anyways?

Brady woke up with a smile on his face. Yes, today was the greatest day of all time. This was the day he would finally profess his feelings for the lovely Bridgette. He quickly threw on his clothes, grabbed the bouquet of flowers, orchids, which he had heard from _very _reliable sources, were Bridgette's favorite flowers. He quickly ran a comb through his hair and bounded out the door. It truly was a great day to be alive.

She could feel herself being taken away. She could taste the light on her lips. _Nirvana._

Brady smiled as he opened the door.

Bridgette saw an angel. So heaven really did exist. _Nirvana._

Brady's face then twisted in horror as he saw the girl of his dreams lying on the floor, barely breathing. He then heard a scream of "NO," but he wasn't too sure who said it. He quickly ran to her side, as she took her last breaths.

She smiled as the angel cradled her in his arms. She then used the last of her strength to whisper one last word.

"Nirvana."

Read and review.


	10. Oh Canada My Canada

_Oh, Canada, My Canada _by _Eve-the-Charlotte_

Prompt: Disney World's Epcot exhibit of Canada

Pairings: DJ/Eva, with a side of Ezekiel/Izzy, Owen/Gwen, and Duncan/Beth.

"This is bullshit," was the first words that popped out of Eva's mouth as soon as she saw the Epcot rendition of Canada.

"C'mon, Eva, it isn't that bad," replied the only other single person on the trip, DJ, as he looked at the exhibit. The. Only. Other. Single. Person. On. The. Trip. No wonder Eva was in such a bad mood, she was so freaking paranoid about that one little fact, Beth thought to herself, She thinks Chris is trying to hook her up with DJ. Which was probably true, but, the fact was that they were made for each other, just like Duncan and I. Beth smiled happily and sighed at the thought of sweet to her, formerly delinquent boyfriend.

"It is that bad," Eva insisted, glaring at DJ. DJ, for once, glared back at her. This continued on for some time until Owen announced he was starving and Gwen readily agreed with him. Those two were kinda scary when they dated. It was like watching Pac-Man and Ms. Pac-Man, except Gwen was gaining a noticeable amount of weight, while, on Owen, if he was gaining weight, he was already heavy, so it wasn't as obvious.

"Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay," was the shout heard 'round the world as Izzy went into her hyper fan-girl mode. She immediately dragged her boyfriend of two weeks, Ezekiel, up to a sign which had a comedian on it. Izzy then went on a seemingly sugar-induced rant on why said comedian was awesome and how her Zeke must see his work, and, heck, everyone must see his work, for it is the epitome of awesome!

This was how they all got dragged into the faux Canada, being towed behind Izzy into a dark room, where they were subjected to forced comedy. And there was nowhere to sit. Fortunately, she got to stand right next to Duncan, who held her hand, which made her heart soar. And the comedian was kinda funny, too, especially with the Celine Dion joke. Plus, Eva finally stopped whining, though she was now insulting Martin Whatshisface. Then, Celine Dion came on, singing their national anthem. Izzy swooned and Ezekiel had to catch her to keep her from falling over and Owen and Gwen whooped. Yes, they scared Beth, but with the anthem, Celine Dion-style, on, she didn't care much.

Then, the most shocking thing happened next. DJ and Eva, who happened to be standing next to one another, stared at each other and slowly, ever so carefully, kissed, which was, of course, when the lights flickered on. The whole room burst into cheers, Beth included, but the couple either didn't notice or care, since they were stilling making out as they stumbled out of the door.

Beth swooned as she saw this, and Duncan had to save her from hitting the concrete. Beth then giggled, thinking, ah, young love.

This was sappy, really, really sappy. You could choke on the fluff from this. Eh, I needed to balance out the last chapter anyways. Read and review!


	11. Miss Perry Had It Right!

_Miss Perry Had It Right! _By _Eve-the-Charlotte_

Pairings: Beth/Sierra. Mentions others.

Sorry I didn't update sooner, but I haven't been able to think up ideas for TDI/TDA till now! Anyways, enjoy!

Beth stared out at the dance floor, wishing someone, _anyone_, would ask her to dance with them. But _no_, no guy wanted to dance with Elizabeth Jennison, because she wasn't pretty enough, or popular enough, or whatever it was that made guys want to run in the other direction when she merely _approached _them. She just didn't get it, what made her so much of a wallflower. She was fun to be around, even though she was just a little bit dorky. C'mon, even Harold and Cody had people lining up to dance with them. Did she just come off as a total loser on the show or something? Whatever it was, it was just really pissing her off!

About an hour later, Beth slammed her drink down onto the table. That blew it, she was just going to go out on the dance floor and dance by herself and no one could stop her! She wandered out onto the floor just in time for a grind song to come on. Just her luck, the perfect two-partner thing came on before she could spot a partner. Just before she lost her nerve and went back to her table to wallow in extreme sorrow, a pretty Hispanic girl came up behind her and began to dance with her. What was that girl's name again? Oh yeah, Sierra, the new girl for the third season. Suddenly, the perfect song came on, one that totally fit the moment completely.

As she brushed her lips against hers about twenty minutes later as they felt each other's bodies hungrily, Beth smiled. Miss Perry definitely had it right.

Hi, just want to say, welcome back, before I go. By the way, the song mentioned, if you didn't know, was _I Kissed a Girl _by Katy Perry. It's a good song, I recommend listening to it, even if you're a straight Catholic girl like me. Anyways, review!


	12. At the End

_At the End _by _Eve-the-Charlotte_

Pairings: Duncan/LeShawna/Alejandro; former Alejandro/Bridgette

Yeah, I don't like LeShawna that much, I'll admit it. I am sorry if you do like her, because she won't be portrayed all that nicely, since this is from Duncan's perspective. If you don't like it, skip this chapter. And, c'mon, you have to admit, Alejandro is the perfect guy to have an affair with. Read and review!

My name is Duncan, Duncan Kraft, how are you? You would say I'm fine, thanks, how are you, dear sir. I would reply fine as well, since it is the opposite actually, but you're a total and complete stranger, so I can't unload my troubles on you. Who knows, maybe your "fine" means that you're going through tough times too. Maybe, like me, you won't be able to bounce back either. Then we wouldn't be total and complete strangers after all, since we have similar things going on and, as they say, experiences bring people together like nothing else.

But your "fine" might simply mean fine, it's hard to tell sometimes. Maybe I was just projecting my own emotions onto someone else again. Because, truly, I sincerely doubt anyone _wouldn't_ if they were in my situation. The love of my life, my wife, LeShawna, just got caught cheating on me, by me, in our bed, with Alejandro, the Hispanic pretty-boy Justin from our old TV show. I yelled. I screamed. I'll admit that, but, seriously, who wouldn't, I mean, c'mon, I'm human, you know. And that bitch had the gall, the nerve, to say that they weren't doing anything. My God, I'm not totally freaking _blind_, I just saw the guy inside you, don't bullshit with me, LeShawna, you fat bitch! Then she came yelling at me, saying I was completely out of line and that I was waking up our son. I'll admit that I've got a pretty bad temper, which, at that point, decided to rear its ugly head. I screamed that he was my son, damnit, not the son of a cheating cow.

I'm out on the streets now because of that. She kicked me out so fast it wasn't funny. She lied to my son and said I was being an effing demon and that Daddy was going away for a very long time because he hurt Mommy real bad. Bitch.

Actually, the only one worse off than me and my son is Bridgette. I actually feel sorry for the hippie surfer chick for once. Ironic, ain't it? She hasn't an inkling of what her fiancée's been up to behind her back. Personally, I always thought that Alejandro was lying scum and even Bridgette didn't deserve him, despite all she has done. She should have gone with Brady; at least then, she would have had a bit of a happy ending, even though he is an idiot.

I fished my cell phone out of my pocket so I can truly sink my reputation straight to hell. Eh, it's not like I would have gotten custody anyways. I dial a familiar number; it was never changed, even after the fight. It's almost like a call from me would be needed. Or maybe you knew that it was I who needed the call, not you. You, my lovely, my one and only, my phoenix, the one I crushed out of a sense of duty, after one drunken night with LeShawna ended up with the birth of my son. Despite the fact I would never give up my son for anyone, I knew in my heart that I should have stayed, but I felt responsible, even though she was the one who insisted upon drinking, the one who insisted upon sex without protection, and the one who would have given him up if I didn't marry her. One drunken mistake set off a chain reaction that ended in misery anyways. I still love you, you know, that's why I'm dialing the number, why your cell is ringing at two in the morning. Please forgive me, my angel, for I am repentant.

"Hello," you say in your it's-too-early-in-the-freaking-morning-so-whoever-is-calling-me-on-the-cell-better-have-an-excellent-excuse-for-it-voice.

"Can I come home," I ask in a whisper, suddenly afraid of your answer. Which is almost ironic, for all those years ago, we both would have thought it would always be the opposite, you being afraid and me holding the answer that would change it. Oh, how time has changed all!

You chuckle, as I hold my breath, afraid to breathe as you deal out my fate.

"I've been waiting for you to say that, darling. I love you," you whisper at the last part.

My heart soars and I reply, "I love you, too, Harold."

Originally, Duncan doesn't end up with anyone, to keep it angsty, but I'm in a fluffy mood, so I stick him with Harold. Hope I didn't scar anyone too badly with this one. Review!

Edit: I finally fixed Alejandro's name! I was sort of tired when I typed this last time. . .


	13. Kiss My Glass

_Kiss My Glass _by _Eve-the-Charlotte_

Pairing: Pre-Tyler/OC and mentioned Chris/Lindsay.

Disclaimer: Don't own the Total Drama series, but I do own Vivian the Bartender! I don't normally write OC's, but Vivian begged to be written, and I just can't ignore beggars.

I've updated! Yay!

*Brokenheartsville*

Tyler downed his sixth beer of the night in a dirty pub in a seedy section of Vancouver, thanking God for his abnormally high alcohol tolerance. If it weren't for that, actually, scratch that, don't thank God for it, because if he drank like Cody or Ezekiel, he could be knocked out into blissful unconsciousness right about now. And that was what Tyler was shooting for.

God, he'd never gotten over Lindsay, his first love. Tyler swilled more of his sixth beer, a local brew he couldn't remember the name of currently, as he recalled what went down between the two of them. Chris, the sadistic vampire bastard, had taken advantage of Lindsay's innocence and, no other way to put it, blonde-ness and knocked her up. At least the son of a bitch had the balls to marry her and not leave Lindsay's daughter an orphan. Oh fuck, who was he kidding? It was _their_ daughter, since the girl had her biological father's jet black hair and semi-swarthy complexion and strong jaw, only more feminine than Chris's, and arched eyebrows and his _aura_, that aura of confidence that hid malice deep within. If Lindsay had come back to him, he could have helped her in distilling those tendrils of darkness in Danielle, the little girl. Only when a tall glass of water was placed in front of him did Tyler's thoughts shift back to reality. The female bartender was standing in front of him, tapping her foot slightly as she motioned him to drink the water, stupid.

Tyler set down his beer and downed the water as the bartender finally broke the silence:

"Look, pal, you're the last one here tonight, and I need to pick up my son from his father's mother. Do you need me to call you a taxi or can you get to your house or hotel or wherever you're staying?"

Tyler stared at the bartender, who raised an eyebrow at his stare. She was rather pretty for a female bartender, with long black hair and sharp hazel-blue eyes. If it weren't for the tattoos and the piercings that adorned her body, which was very nice as well, Tyler might have hit on her sober. And he was drunk anyway, so he opened his mouth and asked, "What's your name, beautiful?"

The bartender rolled her eyes and mumbled, "Vivian," under her breath. Tyler caught it, however, and he turned his most charming smile, which did not last for long as he suddenly pitched forward and landed hard on the vinyl-covered concrete floor, out cold. He was bleeding from his head as well, which prompted Vivian to call an ambulance to pick up yet another drunken bozo from her pub. Though she never would have guessed it at this point, this would be her third and final husband, the love of her life. God had a weird sense of humor that way.

*Brokenheartsville*

Read and review!


End file.
